Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Laural: In Her Own Words

"I wanted to tell the archetypal story of reaching into the deepest corners of our psyche, confronting the shadows, and emerging strong and radiant after finding the well of internal power there."

I had completely lost the will to live and grow during an awful relationship, and when that ended I was suddenly on my own trying to figure out how to live and function and dream up a new future. I was absolutely crushed and reduced to a blank slate, but in that place I started rebuilding and rewriting my narrative.

I've been able to confront my darkness and fears through both ruthless and compassionate self-exploration. I saw how I had adapted to painful circumstances by creating patterns of coping that were destroying my life. And I started taking responsibility for them so I could start consciously acting outside those patterns. It's been years of grueling self work, reflection, and exploring boundaries. Oh, and therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.

It's the myth of Innana's Descent into the Underworld. She is a Sumerian love and fertility goddess, and she descends into underworld to comfort her sister who is mourning and heart broken. Inanna reflects her sister's experience with so much empathy that she dies in the depths of the underworld. Her allies come to seek her out, and she is resurrected with their help. She arises renewed and more powerful for having confronted, accepted, and befriended her dark side. I've been doing that for the last three years (as part of my Saturn Return in Scorpio - it's an astrological coming of age), and this summer has been my rebirth. The work is nowhere near over, but I am finally emerging from the hell of recent years.

A big part of this summer has been reclaiming my sense of personal style, which I'd lost to appease the controlling ex and fit into a construction job. When I felt lost and disempowered I saw no value in taking care of myself, style, or aesthetic pleasures. I found out that it's crucial to my well-being to express my internal landscape through style. I finally feel confident enough with where I'm at and who I am to express it. These photos are me returning to a place I used to explore with that ex, reclaiming it as my own. I feel empowered, fierce, independent, and tough. I feel like myself.


Follow Laural on Instagram.

We previously captured Laural's street style earlier in the summer.

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